As you can see from the title i have made a decision the past few days to take a break from YouTube due to personal reasons which i will share with you all.
I started YouTube in January this year to gain more confidence and push myself in doing something out of my comfort zone if you follow, watch subscribed to my channel then you will know I think its been going well and ive had great comments and feedback from you guys which means the world.
The last couple of weeks I have noticed i am becomming unwell again in regards to my Anxiety ans Mental health which i have previously shared with you in previous blog posts, I am now experiencing Anxiety everyday at the minute which is affecting my day to day life with regards to friends and family and having enjoyments in the things i used to love to do i.e YouTube, shopping and even getting dressed.
I decided me taking a break from my channel will help me get back to the Amy i used to be as at the minute i have resulted into a shell of myself and dont really know why, i have battled with depression and anxiety for 6 years and it never seems to go you just learn to cope and live with it and its draining me if i am honest i am sick of crying daily for no reason and being super sensitive to the smallest thing as i think everyone is against me and i am battleing constantly with my own mind (if any of you have or do experience this then you know what i mean).
Being completly honest YouTube is hardwork and people think you pick a camera up, film a video,edit and upload but thats not th case any YouTuber who says they dont look at view ratings is full of crap as those views are what make us money and if you out a video up thats not done aswell as you hoped then its disheartening.
I have filmed lots of shopping hauls with monthly favourites and my recent experience of living and working in Dubai and they are all pulling in different kinds of audiences some will like the shopping ones and not the dubai ones and vice vurser, i have so many ideas of things to film for my channel yet think as a watcher of YouTube aswell as a creator you see what does better than others on there and this puts me off making these vlogs as they wont be viewed as much as a Primark haul which is sad as it seems to me people dont want to really get to know you as a person and they judge you on a shopping haul.
I don’t honestly know if i will start to film more rgeular in the future but at this moment in time i need to concentrate on my Anxiety and my upcomming operation in June.
Thank you to any of you eho have watched, liked or subscribed to my channel the last few months.
Its not a Goodbye as Arnie once said “I’ll be back”.
Amy aka Natural Blonde